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Reflections of Self

5/6/2014

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May 6th.  I realized that I hadn't blogged anything in several months.  I am declaring at this moment that I will be blogging at least twice a month, and aiming towards once a week.  If you read this and want to remind me to blog, I would welcome your "pokes."

I got home last night from the Acupuncture Pre-clinic student retreat.  Somehow, I managed to come down with the flu during the retreat.  Feeling rather out of it and guilty for spending so much time in bed when I really wanted to participate in the activities, one of my co-teachers said, "You are teaching them how to take care of themselves."  

I learned a few things about myself this weekend.  First, I push myself a lot.  I am a very busy person, and I am in the middle of a long period of busy-ness.  It started Easter weekend with a trip to Massachusetts to see my older daughter, and my friend, coming home just in time to drive nine hours to attend a wild-crafting herb class in North Carolina, home on Monday (another 9 hour drive) work all week to leave for student retreat on Friday.  This coming weekend I am teaching the evening/weekend folks in the Acupuncture program, the following weekend another 9 hour drive to NC for a camping/hiking herbal trip in the mountains, the following weekend a camping trip in upstate NY with my friend from Mass.  Seriously, I don't have a free weekend until sometime in late July.  Not that some of these activities are not fun and/or restful.  So, I went into this past weekend thinking, there is lots of time for rest at this retreat, I should rest "so I don't get sick."  Ha-ha, the joke was on me!  

During the weekend, I asked a co-teacher to give me an acupuncture treatment.  She put a few needles in my chest, where the main congestion was.  She stopped and said, "I get the sense that you really need a gentle touch."  Wow!  I started to cry.  I have spent my life thinking that meanness was normal from those whom I love.  Not to "put anyone down" but my whole life has been that way, until now.  Even as a child.  I allowed the grief to flow out of me in that treatment, and I know I have a lot more to release.  I feel a bit opened and "raw"  and know that I must protect that tender part of myself.  

I am sharing this with as much openness as possible because I don't believe our lives are for ourselves alone.  I don't believe we live in isolated bubbles.  What I experience and learn is for everyone as well as myself.  I have a really great love for humanity, for the Earth and for all "God's creatures".  As I grow and heal and expand and learn to love more the ripples will flow out.  Maybe others think I share too much, others who have a greater sense of privacy than I do, but I know that my destiny in this life is that of teacher/healer.  For me that means sharing my lessons as I learn them or as I am learning them.  We all have different paths, and mine is about teaching by example.  May my lessons serve you. . . 
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    Deanna Slate Stennett, I love to write.

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