I got home last night from the Acupuncture Pre-clinic student retreat. Somehow, I managed to come down with the flu during the retreat. Feeling rather out of it and guilty for spending so much time in bed when I really wanted to participate in the activities, one of my co-teachers said, "You are teaching them how to take care of themselves."
I learned a few things about myself this weekend. First, I push myself a lot. I am a very busy person, and I am in the middle of a long period of busy-ness. It started Easter weekend with a trip to Massachusetts to see my older daughter, and my friend, coming home just in time to drive nine hours to attend a wild-crafting herb class in North Carolina, home on Monday (another 9 hour drive) work all week to leave for student retreat on Friday. This coming weekend I am teaching the evening/weekend folks in the Acupuncture program, the following weekend another 9 hour drive to NC for a camping/hiking herbal trip in the mountains, the following weekend a camping trip in upstate NY with my friend from Mass. Seriously, I don't have a free weekend until sometime in late July. Not that some of these activities are not fun and/or restful. So, I went into this past weekend thinking, there is lots of time for rest at this retreat, I should rest "so I don't get sick." Ha-ha, the joke was on me!
During the weekend, I asked a co-teacher to give me an acupuncture treatment. She put a few needles in my chest, where the main congestion was. She stopped and said, "I get the sense that you really need a gentle touch." Wow! I started to cry. I have spent my life thinking that meanness was normal from those whom I love. Not to "put anyone down" but my whole life has been that way, until now. Even as a child. I allowed the grief to flow out of me in that treatment, and I know I have a lot more to release. I feel a bit opened and "raw" and know that I must protect that tender part of myself.
I am sharing this with as much openness as possible because I don't believe our lives are for ourselves alone. I don't believe we live in isolated bubbles. What I experience and learn is for everyone as well as myself. I have a really great love for humanity, for the Earth and for all "God's creatures". As I grow and heal and expand and learn to love more the ripples will flow out. Maybe others think I share too much, others who have a greater sense of privacy than I do, but I know that my destiny in this life is that of teacher/healer. For me that means sharing my lessons as I learn them or as I am learning them. We all have different paths, and mine is about teaching by example. May my lessons serve you. . .