Time is relentless. It never stops. Like the waves on a seashore, each second ticks by as you listen to the clock itself ticking. There are activities we do which make us forget about time and we say, “time flies when you are having fun.” And there are activities that remind us of each and every second as they drag on and on. Regardless of how we perceive time, it is a constant, continuous movement of one second after another, one minute after another, one hour, one day, one month, one year after another.
We human beings sometimes fill our time with business, postponing joy, relaxation or fun. Sometimes we fill our time with uselessness such as spending the day on the couch watching television, or in front of a computer playing games. Unlike any other resource, time can never be stored, returned to us, or multiplied. Once it is spent, it is gone forever.
There is a balance which needs to be achieved with the humankind. Some folks work every second of their lives, postponing happiness. They say, “I’ll relax when I retire,” or “I’ll be happy when the kids are through college,” or “Next year I’ll take some time off.” How many people do you know, or have heard of, do this their whole lives only to die within weeks or months of their retirement? Far too many, I say. Some folks in our “me” generation want instant gratification so they do the opposite with their time, and indulge constantly by going into debt or even worse by stealing instead of waiting until they have resources to have their enjoyment.
In my practice I see more of the former rather than the latter of the two extremes. I see people who have difficulty carving out an hour or half hour a week, let alone a day for themselves, because they are so busy. If they aren’t working, they are chauffeuring kids from soccer, to baseball, to dance lessons. They eat on the fly, sleep far too little and have no down time. When I tell them they need more down time, or better nutrition or more sleep, they know, but they are on the treadmill and won’t get off. I say won’t rather than can’t, because this is a choice. I know the intentions are well-meaning. Doing all this for their children, they are hoping to create opportunities for their future, better colleges, better careers, etc. However, if you follow that through, the careers then recreate the same scenarios: busy careers, busy lives, busy grandchildren, and so on. You see time is relentless.
What are we here on this earth for? Why are we given life? To make money? To make our bosses or corporations we work for richer? What exactly is happiness?
I can’t answer these questions, but I can ask them. You get to decide, and if you are postponing happiness for the sake of a job, or even your children, you may want to rethink this. The future is not guaranteed. God forbid, but you could be in a car accident and die tomorrow. Do you want your last day with your family to be rushing around to meet deadlines or soccer games? If you don’t have a car accident, do you want to model this lifestyle to your children so they can recreate with their children?
Harry Chapin’s song, “The Cat’s in the Cradle” really speaks to this for me:
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
There is a time to be busy, and there is a time for quiet, reflection. The way to live in this balance is to live in harmony with the seasons. The Spring is the time to make goals and plans (like when you plant a garden), activity can be high. The early Summer is when the plans mature that’s when activity can be the highest - the energy supports it. The late Summer is when we harvest the fruits from the Spring plans, activity begins to slow down - it’s hard to move in the heat and humidity of late Summer. The Autumn is when it is time to make assessments - what to store for Winter and what to let go of, the activity level is slowing some, and busy storing some. The Winter is the time to pull in, be quiet, hibernate, and reflect. Sit by the fire, eat warm food, snuggle. When we give in to the Winter, then we will have the energy to rise in the Spring.
Time will never stop, it moves on and on and on. As you move through your life, think about how you are spending that time. If you died today, would you have regrets? Live as though this were your last day, and plan as though you have many years. Watch and emulate how nature works, because we are part of nature. And remember to enjoy this life.
I am ending with the last three lines of a Mary Oliver Poem called Summer Day:
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
We human beings sometimes fill our time with business, postponing joy, relaxation or fun. Sometimes we fill our time with uselessness such as spending the day on the couch watching television, or in front of a computer playing games. Unlike any other resource, time can never be stored, returned to us, or multiplied. Once it is spent, it is gone forever.
There is a balance which needs to be achieved with the humankind. Some folks work every second of their lives, postponing happiness. They say, “I’ll relax when I retire,” or “I’ll be happy when the kids are through college,” or “Next year I’ll take some time off.” How many people do you know, or have heard of, do this their whole lives only to die within weeks or months of their retirement? Far too many, I say. Some folks in our “me” generation want instant gratification so they do the opposite with their time, and indulge constantly by going into debt or even worse by stealing instead of waiting until they have resources to have their enjoyment.
In my practice I see more of the former rather than the latter of the two extremes. I see people who have difficulty carving out an hour or half hour a week, let alone a day for themselves, because they are so busy. If they aren’t working, they are chauffeuring kids from soccer, to baseball, to dance lessons. They eat on the fly, sleep far too little and have no down time. When I tell them they need more down time, or better nutrition or more sleep, they know, but they are on the treadmill and won’t get off. I say won’t rather than can’t, because this is a choice. I know the intentions are well-meaning. Doing all this for their children, they are hoping to create opportunities for their future, better colleges, better careers, etc. However, if you follow that through, the careers then recreate the same scenarios: busy careers, busy lives, busy grandchildren, and so on. You see time is relentless.
What are we here on this earth for? Why are we given life? To make money? To make our bosses or corporations we work for richer? What exactly is happiness?
I can’t answer these questions, but I can ask them. You get to decide, and if you are postponing happiness for the sake of a job, or even your children, you may want to rethink this. The future is not guaranteed. God forbid, but you could be in a car accident and die tomorrow. Do you want your last day with your family to be rushing around to meet deadlines or soccer games? If you don’t have a car accident, do you want to model this lifestyle to your children so they can recreate with their children?
Harry Chapin’s song, “The Cat’s in the Cradle” really speaks to this for me:
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
There is a time to be busy, and there is a time for quiet, reflection. The way to live in this balance is to live in harmony with the seasons. The Spring is the time to make goals and plans (like when you plant a garden), activity can be high. The early Summer is when the plans mature that’s when activity can be the highest - the energy supports it. The late Summer is when we harvest the fruits from the Spring plans, activity begins to slow down - it’s hard to move in the heat and humidity of late Summer. The Autumn is when it is time to make assessments - what to store for Winter and what to let go of, the activity level is slowing some, and busy storing some. The Winter is the time to pull in, be quiet, hibernate, and reflect. Sit by the fire, eat warm food, snuggle. When we give in to the Winter, then we will have the energy to rise in the Spring.
Time will never stop, it moves on and on and on. As you move through your life, think about how you are spending that time. If you died today, would you have regrets? Live as though this were your last day, and plan as though you have many years. Watch and emulate how nature works, because we are part of nature. And remember to enjoy this life.
I am ending with the last three lines of a Mary Oliver Poem called Summer Day:
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
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